Week of Hell, I mean, Christmas week

Well, we're off to the week of hell again. Don't get me wrong, I love going home and it's great that we get to see our families and all our friends from home. But traveling all week in the middle of winter and not being able to spend Christmas in our own place and sleep in our own bed isn't the easiest. I always say one of these years we're doing our own relaxing Christmas ourselves and finally putting up a tree and decorating. We'll see when that happens...

We're doing an overnight tonight to Cleveland. We get in at 5:30AM tomorrow. My poor dad has to come that early to pick us up, but he doesn't mind. We'll spend four days at my parents house - can't wait to see my friends. It'll be a good time as long as my husband doesn't catch the Ohio stomach bug and get sick like he has every year.

Then it's off on that 8-9 hour drive through PA to upstate NY to the in-laws house for three days. Let's hope the weather isn't bad for the drive and Hertz has the all-wheel drive Subaru we rented. We'll be able to catch up with our friends there so that'll be nice. And then Sunday we're jumping on a Southwest flight and coming back to warmth and sun and our own comfy apartment. I've got my Southwest drink coupons all ready for the flight home. I have a feeling I'm gonna need a few drinks by then.

The blog will be sort of dormant for the next week (at least it'll only be one week and not three like some people I know). If you're really jonesing for it you can stop by and check on the picture of Fluffy.

See some of you soon!

Spider Pig

Ok, is this Spider Pig song not the funniest thing you've ever heard? Has anyone seen the movie - is this trailer the only funny thing in it?

After seeing the previews with spider pig I think I might have to rent it. Spider pig, spider pig, does whatever a spider pig does. Does anyone else think this is half as funny as I do?

Say Thanks

http://www.letssaythanks.com/Home1024.html

A friend sent me this website and I thought it was a really good idea. It's quick and easy - no registration required so you know it's not a scam. I sent this funnier card with a muscle car on it. Let's all do it. If the roles were reversed, we'd enjoy getting a little something in the mail. It's better than nothing at all, especially at the holidays.

I was gonna blog about spider pig today, but I'll tease you with that for tomorrow.

More Fun Stuff

I listen to the funniest radio talk show on my drive to work. It's hosted by a liberal comedian named Stephanie Miller. Now, I know what you're thinking - I don't want to listen to some crazy left wing nutcase political radio talk show. That's not it at all. These people are comedians who happen to be democrats and they talk about way more than politics. They cover all the top news stories, celebrity gossip and even random funny news that you won't hear on any mainstream program. Stephanie has two sidekicks with her. One is a comedian who does THE BEST impressions. Next time he does Kim Jong-il, I'll post the link. Really, few things are funnier. Here's the website for the show. Check your local listings and check it out. You won't be disappointed. Unless you're a republican. Do I have any republican readers? I hope not.

Anyway, the voice guy, Jim, did a hysterical It's a Wonderful Life spinoff about Bush. It's gold. Check it out. A listener added some video/stills to the audio and posted it on his website. I especially love how Gore always has penguins with him in every picture - even on top of the Prius. Love it.

Funny Strike Website

http://www.amptp.com/

This website was created by the WGA (writers) to imitate the AMPTP (producers/studios) website. You have to take five minutes and read BREAKING NEWS. Love the mix tape reference and the copyright line at the bottom of the page.

*Sheila - you'll enjoy the (lack of) creativity in the OUR LOGO section.

If nothing else, you must read the news clips in the NEWS section on the right. Love the - NBC has 437 Game Shows on Tap. I thought I was a terrible person because the - FOX unveils: "Are You Stronger Than A Retard?" made me laugh every time I read it. I don't ever like to make fun of the handicapped. Then I realized, this isn't making fun of them, it's making fun of FOX and how absurd reality TV has become (always was).

Enjoy.

Not the mental health day I'd been planning to take

I took a day off work yesterday. It went something like this...

Monday night I came home to a bathroom sink full of mud, dirt and other things I'd rather not know what they were. Awesome. Then I quickly noticed that any time our upstairs neighbor ran his sink, ours filled with water (and more of the mud disgustingness). And we're not talking a dixie cup full of water. It was so much that Ryan spent Monday night and I spent Tuesday morning scooping water out of the sink (with a used Starbucks cup) into a bucket and throwing it down the drain in the courtyard of our building. I hope Al Gore doesn't read my blog.

Now, a lot of other things happened between Monday night and Tuesday at 2pm when the plumber came, but I'll spare you the details. Except one, as the great flood was happening Tuesday morning and I was home alone with God knows what coming out of our sink, I ran up to get the neighbor to stop running his sink. He finally answered the door, all disheveled, in a robe that wasn't tied tight enough (EWW) and claims that the water we've heard isn't his sink. We've lived here 5 years, we know the sound of his water. Then the liar proceeds to say that he hasn't used his sink in the past 12 hours - he's only used his toilet! Confirmation, he's a "non-washer". YUCK. No wonder why he's weird, 60, lives alone and his family disowned him.

So yada, yada, plumber finally came, I saw his crack, he snaked the drain, sink got fixed. And then I spent the night cleaning the bathroom. I used so many different cleaning supplies on all the surfaces - everything was shinny this morning. I would eat off the floor except that the chemicals would seep into the food and slowly poison me. Otherwise, you totally could.

Disappointment on a rainy, cold day in LA

I was very excited earlier this morning when a co-worker emailed me a very funny picture. I thought, "Wow, great post for a fun Friday blog." But now, all of you get to be disappointed just like me because I've been advised by standards and practices (a friend) not to post the picture.

So I'll tease you - it's a fictional mugshot of the guy I emphatically voted against in the last two elections and a couple of his cohorts in crime. Let me know if you want to see it and I'll email it to you.

Wow

Notice: LFL is a fan of my blog - so be nice.

I have a friend, let's call her or him LFL (Looking For Love). To give you some background, LFL does not live in Los Angeles - LFL might choose to fly when coming to visit us. LFL has been out to visit us in the past and was thinking about another visit in '08. That trip got pushed up a little bit after an innocent IM conversation that went something like this:

*Disclaimer: This is not the actual IM conversation. To protect their identity, the names have been changed. This script was written by a scriptwriting degree holder - amateurs should not attempt unsupervised.

Fade In.

LFL: Do you have someone you could set me up with?
MB: Sure, I know some people.
LFL: Really?
MB: Yeah, but they're here in LA.
LFL: That doesn't matter. I'd go on a blind date in LA.
MB: You would seriously come to LA just to go on a blind date?
LFL: I was planning to come visit you guys next year anyway, so why not come in January and go on a blind date while I'm out there?
MB: Seriously?
LFL: Yeah.
MB: I don't believe you.
LFL: I'm serious. Now who is this person?
MB: Um, ok. The person's name is Five (Hasn't had a significant other in over 5 years).

Fade out.

LFL is coming - dates have been set. Transportation has been arranged. This blind date is gonna happen, folks.

Teaser:
An earthquake hits LA leaving LFL and Five trapped alone in a confined space. Oh, and there's a murderer on the loose.

Stay tuned in January for the next installment of this soap opera.

Realization: I really should be writing for General Hospital.

The Strike can't stop Shrek

The Charlie Brown Christmas special was on last night and tonight is The Grinch, Shrek the Halls (yea!) and the Rockefeller Center special. I don't know about you, but I would appreciate these shows much more if they aired a little closer to the actual holiday. Why not at least air them in the same month as the holiday we're celebrating?

Despite how early it is in the Christmas season, we, of course, watched Charlie Brown last night. And I've had the Shrek special on my calendar for weeks now. I just can't get enough of that Donkey. Oh, that gives me another idea for my Amazon wishlist...

My morning drive to work

* Disclaimer: No children were harmed (that I could see).

Let me paint a little picture of my morning drive: It was 8:45 on the 405. Traffic was actually going okay on my 16 mile, estimated 1 hour 15 minute commute. I was going about 10-15 mph, quite the upgrade from my usual 3-4mph. A Jewish holiday perhaps? Suddenly, I see it. Smoke. Cars come to a halt. Then I go over the hill and there it is: A school bus on fire. For those of you worried about the children - the bus was empty.

Thinking of my fire loving friends, I tried to find a picture of it on our local news websites, but it's clearly not as important as pictures of the Dancing w/the Stars finale.

Now unless you've ever been out here and taken note of the school buses, you might not know that they are the oldest school buses I've seen in my life. The cars last so long out here because there's no rust. These buses have to be from the 70s. They probably have a carburetor (that's that old thing cars don't have any more, right? My knowledge of cars is, shall we say, intentionally limited). Maybe if they didn't have such old buses then they wouldn't be catching on fire as they go over the mountains.

And now, for the most amazing part of the story: there was a good samaritan stopped trying to put out the fire (with a mini fire extinguisher). There are good samaritans in LA? I know. Crazy, right?

Road Trip Recap

Our trip was awesome. The Old St. Angela Inn is our new favorite place to stay. The breakfast and (as we called it) the goodies in the afternoon were amazing. We barely needed dinner each night because the afternoon food was so good. We even just ate dinner at Ghirardelli one night. The drive in our awesome Chevy Impala was pretty fun in spite of the old, cigarette smelling car (mental note: don't rent from Avis again). Ryan had fun driving all along the cliffs. My growing fear of heights was in full effect when we stopped at the pull offs for pictures. The Monterey aquarium is a requirement - just don't go the day after Thanksgiving because it's apparently one of their busiest days. Reaffirms my desire to go through life kidless, maybe, maybe not (maybe, maybe not)...

Winter is definitely the best time to go. It was chilly at night, but not freezing by any east coaster's standard. Lack of crowds at the parks and along the PCH was great. I can't imagine the summer - it would make the trip not nearly as peaceful.

Point Lobos State Park was probably the best. During our hike, we saw lots of sea lions and even some whales on their way up north. The Winchester Mystery House was actually pretty neat - better than we thought it would be. San Luis Obispo was a fun town. Reminded us of a larger, upscale Ithaca with a gigantic and much nicer Cayuga Lake. Lots of young families or late 20's to 30's outdoorsy people jogging or in kayaks.

Upside: CA is actually really nice in parts.
Downside: Shout out to homeless people: don't ride a bike on the swerving, one lane PCH.

Road Trip!

We're getting out of LA for the long Thanksgiving weekend. I've been waiting to take this trip since, hmmm, June 10, 2006, so I can't wait.

We've traveled around much of the state of CA. Every trip I come back home thinking: This state is so beautiful - why do we live in the ugliest part? Oh right, employment.

I digress. We're going on a trip along the PCH. We're flying to San Jose on Thursday morning, renting a car and driving to Monterey. Two nights at this super cute B&B - the Old St. Angela Inn and one night in San Luis Obispo. We'll spend four days driving down the coast, doing some lite hiking, checking out the cute towns and enjoying the beautiful scenery. I hope we have enough memory cards for the camera.

Trip report and my own awesome picture to come next week.

Happy Thanksgiving (early)

My parents come into LA tonight for a week (they're staying with my sister). LAX, ugh. The good news is that we're celebrating Thanksgiving on Sunday (long story). I'll pick them up anywhere if my Mom will make her homemade stuffing...yummmm.

Depressing Strike Update

Tonight is the last new episode of the Office. No more until the strike ends. Enjoy it, folks.

I'm getting a dog (maybe)!

I'll preface my story by telling you that some people in LA call motorcycles Donorcycles. Riding one in LA is absolute insanity. The way they weave in between cars on the freeway- death wish.

The story I'm about to tell you is true and I've witnessed it on more than one occasion. There is a guy (let's call him Suicidal) I've seen on the 101 who drives with a giant golden retriever behind him (of course YouTube has similar footage). How can you drive on the 101, at night, in rush hour traffic with a giant dog hanging off the back of your bike? If you want to risk your own life, then go for it, but to subject a dog is just cruel. Now Suicidal was wearing leather and a helmet, but the dog had no protection whatsoever. He could have fallen off the side in an instant.

Sadly, I do not own a dog yet, but last I checked at Target they didn't make doggy helmets or chaps. Upon doing a little research, I do find a couple random companies that sell dog helmets on the internet, but come on. Should we really make dogs do activities that require them to wear helmets? Where's PETA when you need them?

I, of course, think the proper thing to do is for me to take the dog and give him a safe and loving home far away from Suicidal.

Is the US running out of flour?

Why are bread bowls impossible to get at Panera? They are a bakery, right? They always seem to have numerous breads, bagels and pastries every time I visit. They even have said products at 6pm or later. So why are the bread bowls so hard to find? Now I must admit, I'm a mostly dinner Panera visitor. There are some special mornings when I have a craving for the hazelnut bagel spread or a Cobblestone muffin, but I don't really visit at lunch. This is clearly when the bread bowls are served in overwhelming quantity. If you want a bread bowl anytime after 3pm forget it. Just don't even go. I called ahead a couple times to make sure they were in stock, but of course they never were. I won't even do that anymore. Just get over the broccoli cheese bread bowl craving and get In & Out instead.

So in short, if you want a bread bowl you better go in the morning and buy it. Then go back in the evening and buy the soup. Combine the two and you're good to go. That's a little too much hassle for me. It's a little crazy too. And I don't have that kind of time. It's only Panera we're talking about.

Is it bad to want to strike?

As many of you know, there's a writer's strike happening now. People are saying it could last for months. How does this affect us you might ask? Well, it doesn't, but is it bad to wish that it did?

Basically, I am totally fine at my job. My better half is not in any real danger either. Don't worry folks, nothing's gonna stop the good Doctor.

Is it bad to wish that he was out of work for a couple weeks or a month? He'd get his job back and all would be fine. He'd just be able to sit home and collect unemployment. There is nothing like my husband without a job. He's a totally different person. The word Zen almost comes to mind. Is it bad to want that for a little while?